This is going to be an embarrassing story.  But it’s been a while since I’ve revealed my less successful culinary ventures, so here goes… 

During law school, my friend Leah and I decided that it would be very posh of us to throw a lobster dinner party for our boyfriends.  I’d never tasted lobster (a lingering childhood seafood phobia), much less turned a live lobster into a palatable meal.  Neither had Leah.  Disinclined to shy away from a challenge, we didn’t let that stop us.

While our boyfriends drank too much beer and raced the long-bodied lobsters in the living room, Leah and I started on the first course – a simple salad with green goddess dressing.  We elected to employ my brand new stainless-steel food processor.  Unfortunately, we couldn’t figure out how to turn it on.  (I kid you not).  After several glasses of champagne, we swallowed our pride and called Leah’s mom.  Through fits of laughter at our domestic ineptitude, she provided detailed instructions and our dressing was saved!

Next up: the main course.  As a compassionate gesture, we froze the lobsters to numb them pre-boil.  Unclear on how long this process took, we checked the lobsters every few minutes to see if they were still moving.  On one of these occasions, we were HORRIFIED to find that the lobsters retaliated by pooping all over my freezer.  We immediately abandoned our compassion and threw the ungrateful jerks into the pot.

Somehow, the dinner turned out well.  I was so scarred by the experience, however, that I hadn’t attempted lobster since…  Until last night.  A friend suggested that I follow-up my crab rangoon post with lobster pot pie, which sounded absolutely delicious.  I recently had the dish at Michael Mina, and was eager to put my spin on it.  To simplify the process, I used store-bought bisque as a base and lobster tails from the fish counter.  Clamshell mushrooms, peas, and dry sherry round out the recipe.  

I’d love to say that I’ve come a long way since learning how to operate a Cuisinart.  But I like you too much to lie to you.  As a lobster novice, I don’t own crackers, so I opted to break open the first tail with my bare hands.  The exoskeleton proved a formidable foe, and sliced open my thumb.  Enraged at the headless crustacean, I took a hammer to the second tail – which was only slightly more successful.

Somehow (yet again) the lobster turned out perfectly.  I will be making these buttery pot pies for the remainder of the winter.  Just as soon as I procure a lobster cracker…  xx tt

FINISHING TOUCHES…

t+tTOOL: avoid falling victim to a hand injury by purchasing these adorable lobster claw crackers.  I assure you that they are much more affordable than a trip to the ER for stitches!